The Totenkitten.

 I've had quite the interest in hate symbols recently.

Small icons, Flags and even numbers that show a persons dedication to bigotry. Gangs and groups that have committed actual crimes. its the actions of these horrid people that give these simple logos such deadly implications. 

This recent photo from a pizza shop in jersey is certainly something.

In the photo is 2 SS symbols. a confederate flag. and worst of all several stickers that are just trump.

This just goes to show the symbols one limited to hate groups and extremist are becoming normalized. and there is tons of people that just do not know these symbols. and as i said before the origin and groups that have used the SS symbols are genuinely evil.   

one symbol in particular is the Totenkopf. meaning dead persons head the Totenkopf was used thru out several divisions of the nazi army. 

So naturally I decided to make it a hello kitty skull. Like i give a fuck about respecting the design I made it into something not very threatening at all. It's like those ACAB stickers with Sanrio characters on them. I think its different due to the fact that it is a far more extreme group than liberals.

I also made this cause I do think there could be an indirect chance that this could be used by actual racists. Groups like this are an actual parasite when it comes to what they associate with. example being Pepe the frog, the Mc donalds moon man, and even celebrities like Sidney Sweeny with her recent jeans ad.

As a former Alt-Right Member I know half of the message is sent with humor. and that's what it's also supposed to represent. It may seem like a joke but if you enable it enough it can genuinely change minds through subtle nods and reinforced caricatures of people. This has gotten worse and worse as algorithms continue to benefit from the very loyal audience radicalist pundits form from their message. This is for both sides. for every Nick fuentes viewer with 8 hours of screen time theres another vaush brain drain watching just as much. while those who platform both. benefit greatly.

We Could debate all day about the morality of me forming a hate symbol into a cartoon kitten but I think there's better things to do. better things to do other than typing and reading meaningless things. left or right... if you have an issue with this. please comment about it. best slur will get pinned. 

Sleep is For Suckers, Hombre - Sean Monaghan

 This is Just an Archive post

I got this zine Direct from Sean on instagram. I Forgot The Zine drop was limited to only 100 so I decided to archive it. sorry about the pin holes in the corners I used to have it on my wall.

I wish there were some exclusive pieces for this zine but I think all of these are on his insta. and The PDF is on Archive.org

DOWNLOAD ON internet archive

If a V cut tee can hold back big hangers. You can surely do it.

Again I'm showing my glasses preference

I Grew up obsessing over girls like Tina Fey and Cosplay model girls. Mostly cosplay model girls those were so cool to look at back in the day. especially metroid and princess peach. my two fav girls from fiction.

I love that hair!!!

I really like how the hair turned out. I think my biggest challenge with crosshatching is very very sharp contrast like in hair or very reflective and shiny things. i often see it dulls alot. but I think I rendered the hair very well. better than usual. I can actually sense the volume of her hair and see the shine.

 

Not trying to blame this on the original image but... I really don't like drawing from camera flash photos. even from very soft lighting the source still makes alot of sense. but I ended up making her arms way to dark in the back.

But her skin from up in the front is rendered very well. her face is contoured and she is so handsome cause of it. I mean I really like contorting my girls. especially her cute smile!!! that has to be my fav part. down to her breasts which yknow their circles so there's not much of a science to rendering tits. adding a bit of peeky areola is my cherry on top. 

The Original!

 It's more often I use these as a reference and not a study. I really need to study anatomy more since I can see her face is more tilted and it does not translate in the drawing. and not gonna lie. I think she's wearing a wig... sorry I just know hair changes color in direct light and it's just too black and shaggy to be real. she's still super beautiful though. i'm such a slut for those rectangle glasses. as always. so she's just my kinda woman.

 

You NEED an art blog

 I'm really sick of how BORING art platforms are.

Where you are lucky to pick a profile picture and banner. social media has become alot less personalized. and with NSFW artists or artist covering certain topics your scope is very much limited without having to censor yourself.

What artist would want to leave their only legacy on an image block site where there direction is limited to a TOS and a Character Limit.

This is why I have an artblog 

The First Blog site I used was Spacehey. A site I really recommend if you want that classic type of landing profile. I had seen tons of very talented artists here. and actually saw so much more of their personality and life just from how much more personal the blog format is. 

I Had tons of fun on that site and met alot of people but troubleshooting HTML issues is really hard and alot of things can break. after leaving my profile template does not work at all anymore. But it works if you are willing to upkeep your profile.

The Blog Format.

The personal aspect is what I care about the most. Do I really feel anything when I post Just an image and a caption?. I have been Posting my art for 8-5 YEARS now and I have never been more close to my art and audience. You might not think you have much to say about your art and I thought the same. my early posts were very plain but after a while. writing down my process inspiration or just what happened that week just grows my connection with my art and audience more.

 

My Blogger is also a "18+" site

 so as someone that draws tits and talks about fucked up stuff. this is incredible. I really have gotten sick with how hyper surveilled we are now. from our individual words to what we post. and to just have so much more freedom in those aspects. I can actually say suicide or mass shooting or sexual assault. and talk about adult issues without using baby speak. it reminds me of the zine scene. just absolute creative freedom. what are you creating for if it can't advocate for your own means of speech.

I believe blogs are some of the most unique and personalized sites on the internet. even on blogger which their system is pretty stream lined. You can make some very unique designs. down to the little icon in the browser tab. Blogger is leaps and bounds above even youtube. I really like my page. If you don't think so. Maybe visit it to really give me a piece of your mind!!

Web Journal

The Thing that mainly intrigued me with blogs was the older times in the internet. Before Social media was just snapshots of your life writing blogs is far more involved and personal. with the pace of the modern internet it's hard to get people to sit and read anything. but I don't really care. this platform and format has made me more free than I have ever been on the internet. And I love it.

 

    

Stick Control.

Doodle Time!

Gotta be real though I seriously recommend stick control for beginner percussionists.

This copy is super worn cause I used to carry this around a ton during high school. It's rudiments.

I've been getting more into postal and it's art direction. I did fuck it up cause the version I used as a ref was some sort of screen filter version so i could not see that he is wearing boots. and not tennis shoes. to first actually learn the origins of the term "going postal" was something genuinely very shocking.

 

Postal originates from the very real murders caused by postal workers. a prominent one being the Edmond Ok inccident where 14 people were killed. and from that point about 40 people have been killed from these types of shootings. with accidents being as recent at 2022.

 

With such grim origins postal's controversy makes more sense from the title to the content of the video game is in extremely bad taste. But I Really don't think It'd work nowadays or ever even happen. with how much culture and art has plateaued It's been so long since anything has actually just been so offensive. and I'm not saying Offensive like a snarky conservative that gets satisfaction out of being off putting cause of their inability to not say retard. I'm saying in the sense of putting some actual fucking artistry into their work.

 

Something I was shocked to find was Wednesday in my news paper. I only use the news for crosswords. Another piece of kitch grim comedy is Pride Prejudice and zombies. a book I found at work. i don't care to read it but I scrapped one of the drawings.

My zombie hyperfixation in the 2010s was palpable. zombie go boom and zombie land were my two fav things... like ever. I'm telling ya I had a zombie plan and all. I remember watching all dead rising boss battles too. just anything zombies was so cool to me.

 

Time to point out the rope wrapped elephant in the room... I think it's really cute. I'm not near enough skilled to draw shibari knots. The form of shibari knots are very structured and can be very very complex. But I still love drawing them. and It still came out well enough for me. I also really like this harness style too. maybe I oughta do something more simple next time.    

That's all of it though. I really Like how this turned out. I think I rekon to call this style school scrapping. cause that's how most of my school supplies ended up looking. But it's still more like a collage type of deal. I like the grey back drop of the book and how much that helped the dark style. keep connecting, keep creating - Bug  c 

 

One Month With The Anbernic Rg35xxSP

Perfect supplement for our Daily Brain Drains.

I'm Doing my part as a Late Gen Z'er by buying something my phone used to do. but the point is that it is not my phone. I don't even got NEAR enough discipline to not use my phone while I'm bored. So an alternative is needed. and I decided on a handheld Emulator.  

That being the Anbernic Rg35xxsp.

This just has a really good form factor for portability. and the clamshell just adds another form of protection for both the screen and buttons. so this being at the bottom of a bag or in a pocket has zero problems.

 

And that's the main feature I'm trying to get out of this device. I could have gotten something like the 35xx but for almost the same controller size and form. the sp tucks away into a 3 inch and 1 anna touch more inch thick square. While I would not say thin enough for some tight pants. this fits inna bag very well. but if you got that shit on. these fit well into oversized Camo pants.

 

Software. (and It's issues)

So fresh out of the box... the anbernic is y'know Different. The Stock OS is kitch I would say. I saw no real use in this. I mainly bought it for it's alternative operating systems. After alot of thinking. I picked the most popular OS on the anbernic Subreddit. MUOS, since this is linux based there is no "jailBreak" method. It's just as simple as flashing the software onto an SD card. I certainly remember my time modding PSPs and IPods. there's always some weird method and multiple layers to it.  where this is super easy.

 

Not saying MUOS is flawless tho. there is a LARGE problem I came across with MUOS. From my very first install I had problems with the clamshell sleep function having issues with how MUOS handles power and sleep function. so with how they overlay. it can COMPLETELY CORRUPT your MUOS install.

It's not some unknown boogie man though I just recommend doing this.

DO NOT CLOSE WITHOUT POWERING OFF and not until both the backlight and Powerlight turn off

ONLY USE THE POWER BUTTON TO POWER ON. only use the power option on the menu to turn off the device.

CHARGE WITH THE SCREEN OPEN. Charging turns the screen on and takes it out of sleep mode. but having the screen closed overrides that function thus making issues.

Considering The SP is the only console with a clamshell. it makes sense as to why MUOS has such a problem with overlapping Sleep and power functions.

 

But other than that. MUOS Is very good and stable. I would imagine the 35 is just a standout from the other players and that's why it has so many issues. This uses retroid for emulation so it's very simple to load roms and cores. MUOS does list cores that are shipped with the OS and ones you'd need to find. and that gets into the weird cores.....

Music Codec and Video Codecs are available on the anbernic. The Gameboy Video dream is REAL. I genuinely Have the entirety of brazil (1985), Xavier renegade angel, azumanga dioh, and the grinches ultimatum. and I have actually used this on break at work and it's a breeze. and working like a breeze is like most games on the console.

This supports up to ps1. and pretty light PSP games. But I would not bet on all PSP titles working on this. PS1 runs very well. and everything below works just as well. some of my fav titles being of course GBA titles and SNES titles. one last fav with MUOS is the Themes. Themes are always the best parts of alt Operating systems. and MUOS does it right. Right now I'm rocking hello kitty but there are tons and tons of themes for MUOS.

Hardware (and It's issues)

so take note this is a budget player. it's an all plastic build and I reckon all of its weight comes from the battery. But for being a budget player it certainly matches that standard. I really like the screen quality. reaching sufficient brightness and great resolution for video and later generation consoles. The buttons are okay. They feel nice with a poppy and clicky action. but my main issue is with the d-pad. where there is no see-saw action. this meaning other directions can be pressed on accident and worse being all can be pressed at the same time. I'm okay with the shoulder button format but I can imagine this being cramped.

I love the usb-c function but it only charges. since the storage is not recognized on my computer. AND A FREAKIN HEADPHONE JACKKKK. this works well for ear buds. but the amp Is pretty weak even to the point where koss headphones are asking too much from the amp. and I DO NOT reccomend to use the SD card the player comes with. I've heard alot of reliability issues with the factory card.

 

Overall

If you want something with no hitches... get something more expensive. Just being honest. For the price point of the player it is a ton of fun. far more fun than mobile gaming. or just scrolling to scroll. a super easy mod with tons of customizability and multi media function. it's really good    
 

  

   

Bulls Eye!

First Post with my photo scanner.

This is actually huge.

It's kinda cray to see a direct scan of my art. even as the artist and how much time i had spent with it. it's really cool to see. It gives me the ability to scan multimedia things like my sketch book covers which are also very cool to see in an almost archivist or sterile form. 

 I would say even me taking pictures of my drawings were an extra layer of my artistic process. either having parts of my desk or pens and pencils just outside of the frame. and even being a bit askew at sometimes. just humanized it alot.

"this is why I Don't do tats"

I would not be a good tattoo artist. or have any good ideas for myself. so obviously I'm not much into the know of genuine designs. so that's why most of the tattoos are kinda shit posts. One of my favs is the Mr.fantastic Fox tattoo. It's like one of my fav movies kinda looks more like kristopherson but It's supposed to me Mr.Fox. I just think his charisma and quick thinking through the movie just makes me look up to that kinda mind set. 

 

Another super cute and cool tat is the reticle around the areola. while there are other more natural and gothic ideals for breast tattoos. This is wayy more edgy. I do think it was the best for it to be on one breast since i think it'd look a bit overkill.   

Bug Blog 08-01-25

Contempt

I really hate work right now. I did not expect management to be shuffled around so much after i had came back and i feel that every day. So many points of failure. such high expectations I could never match I truly do not care. I am beyond ashamed of what my job had become. 

I had finally talked to the manager of a paint store my friend worked at and then again waiting a long time. but by the end of the month i want to be gone from my current job. No matter if I land the next job or not. I do have like a month or two's worth of income saved. so my deadline from the end of the month would be the 16th.

Just waiting and work has been my main focus this month. I really hate that i did spend last month mainly doing that. i did not draw as much as i wanted to at all. Work has just been so exhausting that i cannot do much after work. 

Tech regression

i did actually have a non art related fun project. It was my Anbernic. a retro handheld. it's been super fun. I made it to supplement my phone time. so instead of doom scrolling on my phone i instead spent time on my anbernic. 

It's super fun to use on break at work too. or waiting for... anything really. I had tons of fun playing wario ware while my tires were getting replaced. 

I took another step by dumifying my phone. I used a minimalist phone launcher and took youtube and pintrest off my phone. almost everything but my music streaming stuff. after all of that my screen time is down to a little more than an hour. I wanna keep it like that.

Cooking!! and Diet stuff.....

I really wanna be back on my diet or not binging again. but it's hard considering how unstable i had been. and just work in general does not bode well when restricting my calories gives me headaches and vertigo. I mean I do have caffeine in my system but I just do not think about my apatite and how well I control it.

It's just been eating when i'm hungry and kinda not having discipline. I still have been really really good at cooking though. I made some broccoli cheddar soup. zomg so fufin gooddd. 

 

Media That Changed Me       

I'm certainly Proud of what Media I engaged with this month. amazing life changing things truly.

Brazil. 

the amount of artistry and outsider like direction is unlike anything I have ever seen. amazing creative sets, expansive world building, and incredible effects work. thats why i speak of the artisty of this movie. With the contrast of incomprehensible dream like states to painfully realistic and dull depictions of the government. With the main character being a worker for said government It's incredible to see what they make out of it.it's mainly in its shortcomings due to how tight knit redundant government systems lead to dehumanizing people. i just reccomend watching the whole movie. It's a 2 hour BEAST of a movie.  

Heavy Metal - Cameron 

There's certain albums that come out sometimes and just rip me apart emotionally. Heavy metal was that. the vocal delivery throughout is just incredible throughout. Cameron's Husky voice can crumble down into emotional breakdowns like in Drinking age. the lyricism and vocal performance is so strong to where pretty much all of cameron's live shows are just him at a piano. but that's not to ignore the instrumentals of this album. from gentle strings to swelling drowning pianos, the production is immaculate. certainly a highlight of the year.  

Carts Of Darkness

This was one of those rando full documentaries that end up on youtube. this is about a group of homeless can scrappers and how they survive and live. and from what i see. they thrive. such simple lives it just really made me draw back and rethink my actual worries. was I really doing what i wanted? how do can scrappers have a better outlook on their live than I do. Just a couple of cans a day to end their "work day" by 2? One can scrapper certainly made me think. after one line saying “When you work for money, you better have a very good plan of what you are going to do with that money because you are using up your life”. This is what really made me turn against my current Job. and working in general. What I want to do in life is create and connect. and everything else in the way is just a waste.

Overall

This was a pretty emotional month for me overall. In many ways. ways that really changed me. but I hope for something more stable soon. I don't think I could ever relive this month but i can understand this was needed for me.

I am ready for worse. but I don't know how well I'd take it. I think i say this every month but I really do need some time away from everything. I hope to see you soon. Connect and create - 8U6