this one for the lesbians.

*Click To View*

 I know my work is often more femgaze than most NSFW artist but this takes the cake 

I mean I could only assume femgaze just cause alotta of my support is from my fem friends. I would Imagine cause my artwork ain't male oriented goon fuel. er I mean It's still goon fuel regardless but... You can certainly cell femgaze smut from male smut. especially when it comes to power dynamics.   

 Welcome to the jungle 

more femgaze being lean strong FEMS!!! her frame is actually fuggin perfect. I hate to give slimmer girls a Thinspo typa build. yknow something that actually looks healthy and sustainable.

 also proportional Breast sizes!  

This is my biggest peeve when it comes to smut artists is proportions. like huge cans on slim girls and slim faces on chubby girls. I know human anatomy is very unique and there is alot of exceptions but normally curvaceous properties are normally tied to their body fat percentage.

 Just study actual people to understand this. 

I would very much recommend using more scholarly sources for studying nude subjects. they are normally far more natural looking and natural poses also. and drawing and understanding how body fat works. if you aint drawing clothes you for sure gonna have to understand everything that's under them.

 

drew some more tits on the clock.

 And visions of horror 

Last night I had my first night shift and it was pretty nice. And most of it was drawing and playing CS condition zero. I've been playing alot now and the learning curve is hitting me hard.

 

 So I drew trisha!! 

Trisha Paytas is certainly a character I've known about her wayy long before her recent peak in popularity. She certainly is really pretty!!!! er I did kinda change the ref pic but I still love it. I thought the arms would turn out weird but It looks so good!!!.

 

 "When the fajitas come out sizzilin" 

This is more of a throwback to when I was a conceptual artist. it was a pretty dark time.(highschool) and I would often draw pretty dreadful portraits in a scribble type of rendering. I mean it did help me with facial anatomy but it really does surprise me I came out to be as okay as I am right now. 

Postal 2 fan art

 I regret nothing. 

My postal addition is getting worse.... it fine. I thought it'd be funny to draw postal dude as a strawberry shortcake character. I know running with scissors had made a plush of the dude which is a simpler design of him. the shortcake type of design is so cute!!  

 

 Him and champ! So Cute!!!  

 

I wish I could stick more to the original breed of champ but I could only settle for a more puppy look. and the mini AK is soo cute. i tried to make it a bit more accurate but I decided stubby would make it cuter.

 

 Anton 

 

No country for old men has to be a top ten for me. one of the most thought provoking characters is obviously Anton. a some sort of self given title of reaper of fate. The coin being a constant through his character just shows his thought process and ideas of human life. and with that title of reaper of fate all those who meet him die.

It not some sort of terminator type of killer machine he really does manipulate and vindicate his ideas. like in the gas station scene. there is a real human behind all of his killings and stone cold looks.

 

I drew the scene of his first kill. so brutal, not a single sign of struggle or restraint and that look. its really good.    

I Got Bad Bitches In My Sketchbook

 FAWK U MEAN 

I just drew some bad bitches...

If only glasses were easy to draw. I mean they can get pretty complicated depending on the angle

I love me them girls with glasses.

 

 AND I LOVE ME SOME TITTIES 

 

I mean I kinda understand why this style is out. I mean that push up perky boob look is really unnatural. and it's prolly only cause men are getting weirder and weirder about how women dress. like the whole concept of women wearing more shaggy and less for fitting things on the subway or at night.

 Will you Sign my petition? 

I Finally started Postal 2. I do remember watching the pewdiepie lets play like forever ago but I have never really played it

I kinda got hooked by the art direction of the first game

 It's been really fun to play    

Not to say the game has aged perfectly. It plays like an old game and I really like it for that. 

I also had some other artwork on this page but I think I had talked about these. especially the charlie kirk one. the other one is just the ICONIC mustache cat of 2014

 GOTH GIRLS YOU NEED MORE SPIKES. PLEASE!!!! 

Goth means your outfit consist of, metal,leather, spikes, more spikes and ripped up cloth.

I kinda regret choosing the spike bra to draw since like 50 percent of the time drawing this was drawing the bra. I love this outfit!! 

There's alotta acessories and that is pretty much the hardest parts to draw.

 

 suggestion is the strongest technique to use. 

 

 I did not draw each chain link just each gap in the chain. I don't draw laces on shoes. sometimes it feels really awkward for things to stand out with to much detail. I often think about overly detailed items in southpark standing out.
 

 

More Pages

 erm so I guess conservatives pundits are gonna be okay with violating the 2nd amendment. 

I mean or just not making public events which that would be preferable. I would imagine due to recent events. political rallys are gonna have wayy more security.

 

and considering the precedent set by past offenders i think most ben shapiro fans would not be allowed into his events. i often think with how paranoid conservatives are I look like a walking security threat.

 

Anti Social long hair all black clothes and avoiding eye contact with everyone. and mainly being male has made me quite the sight since these attacks have been male only. And its obvious cause its been an ongoing issue with male metal health and it causes so many issues. many issues other than shootings. 

 

I really don't know what the future will be with these kinds of events since these kinds of anti social unstable men reside in the extreme alt right. what will future turning point or crowder events will look like?

 

 Low Crop Low Hair, Makes the boys stop and stare 

Okay enough about incels lets get to the HAWT LADIESSSS!!! I don't often draw low crops like this to be honest. I really do forget how low they can be from time to time.

 

it's more often than not that I try to not use very gendered clothing for my female characters. not any really really form fitting clothes or overtly small and sexual clothing.

 Mr.Tux!! 

As a kid I had a Huge interest in computers. it was more often than not that I did not have a computer

So when I did I was on forums and computer sites alot. and I just remember tons of people had these penguin icons as their profile picture. it was sort of a template cause every single one was different. I really love early 2010s raster graphic design. With tons of sheen and glossy circles and filigree I think it's what really made fruitiger aero look the way it does 

  

DJ GOUDA AND EMCEE BON BON

 In my euro techno, gabber and house phase 

From playing Stepmania a ton I've been listening to a ton of old school techno and dubstep. I recently listened to a DJ Scott compilation and the infamous DJ Tron End of the fucking world tape.

 

 This was majorly inspired by british MC and UK hardcore. 

I think it's really interesting how this scene developed such a unique outsider style of Rap. with super bouncy and high BPM beats keeping up means rapid lyrics and ad libs. it's so high energy I could only imagine a rabbit being able to keep up. 

 

 Drawing this scene was super fun 

I got to be a lil loudspeaker nerd and draw my fav non descriptive black boxes. live show loud speakers have some of my fav designs since it's when tweeter horns and bass scoops are used the most. these things are designed to be BEASTS. I don't care much for "pretty" designs but I'm here to bang out gabber and french core so GIMME THOSE FEST BASS SCOOP SUBS. 

 

I NEED EVIL WOMEN!

 Proof of me being a slut for goth girls on company time 

Work is so fucking boring I just kinda day dream about goths all day. I love this pose so fufin much idk why the "uh" bored model looking face is so goddamn hot to me but it is.

 

and those freaking eyes!!! gawsh its them bedroom eyes for sure. or she just watched you clutch a CS 1.6 round. trust if you did that around me I'd be just as enamored.

 

 The Panties and band Tee Combo   

bra or no bra also? man the possibilities are endless!!! she's mainly just supposed to be lounging around. fuck I guess I did the "male writer makes girl hang out in their underwear" type deal. which I mean it's kinda true... I mean just cuz its overdone don't mean it's not hawt!!!!

 

 A Male Counter Part? 

It's gotta be one of them boys that sleep in sweatpants or Pajamas. and no shirt.... hehehe~~~ I got a thing for guys in shaggy pants and tight tops. LEMME SEE THAT TUM DAMNNNNN. HUSKY BOYS LET THE BELLY FREE PLEASEEEEE. and er skinny boys.... let the cutting board out. or whatever... I would still like a band shirt on my emo boy tho. maybe even braless. holy! i'm getting the vapors   

The Iron Giant.

 i ain't seen the movie but... my co-worker has 

Normally reservations are printed out. so sometimes on slow mornings there's a ton of space on the paper. so my co-worker asked me to draw a gundam.

 

I for reals don't fw mecha AT ALL. I asked for something else and he said Draw the iron giant. so I did, I did it mainly to get that morning warm up and i think it came out super bomb.

 

 This was a big deviation from what I normally draw 

 which is alot of natural forms. the design is legit all cylinders and squares. this is like super super easy to render. it does not have all the tidbits and random squares mecha normally have so this was really simple. 

Do people really understand the insenserity of AI art?

 After the passing of Charlie Kirk I noticed something I really hadn't thought of. 

Conservatives really love AI. being back on facebook just made me realize that much. tons and tons of Ai related content had been made for charlie. even AI songs. now all of this would be pretty impactful if I did not know how lazy AI content creation is.

 

I think this is a pretty pathetic way to honor a person. even someone as bad as charlie Kirk he is still a victim of political violence and gun violence. and these memorials provoke none of those ideas. and show zero effort from their creators. even it being slop from a mass posting bot. people still consider these as "powerful" and "deep". 

 An Example being one of the AI songs made for him. 

its a pathetic mess of political anti government but pro nationalism ideas. all to the tune of stadium rock. and a music video of a post apocalyptic America with people walking up very blatantly political signs like "freedom requires vigilance" Just no fucking art to it. 

 

This Is like if someone made his obituary with auto complete. it's not gonna mention any legacy he might have left behind as a political pundit. it's just gonna fucking make the safest choices. and people are okay with it for some reason. these videos have hundreds of thousands of views. claiming this is the best thing the have seen made with AI. claiming this will keep his legacy alive. 

 

 Compare this to in memoriam videos of artist Daniel Johnston. 

short videos of completed artworks, whole Documentaries, and songs. made in the honor of him. even things as small as tik toks are real. it could be a real person talking about the impact of his music. or being inspired by his visual works.

 

I see none of that in these slop videos. but some people do and that's what scares me. are they blurring the line between content and creation?this detritus bottom of the barrel GARBAGE. can justify it's creation because someone can consider it art. it's anything but that ARTLESS and EFFORTLESS. the reason I mention Daniel Johnston is because of how I see Effort over Technical skill.

 Anything I see made by a computer can easily be beaten by human creation 

Daniel Johnston is not the most technically proficient artist. but he was an incredible artist and influential song writer and musician. Just cause of his effort and drive to create. I don't care about the millions of dollars invested into AI Art generators and the exponential improvement of it's skills. You cannot synthesize the spirit of a real artist.

But Maybe this is a deserving memorial for the legacy of Charlie Kirk. a soul far dehumanized by his crooked and unmoral views. and outward personality only made for the sake of controversy and views. who will be missed. and soon forgotten.          

 

 

   

Back to notebooks

 Needed a sketchbook that was not full of femboys and naked women... so I bought a new one. 

office work has been super nice really. I'm pretty much getting paid to do shit I did while i was unemployed. and drawing is a huge part of that. it's mostly just crap off Pintrest. my drawings do take a solid 30 minutes each so a good portion of my shift was drawing

 

and the rest of it being CS 1.6 and listening to new music. I mean my airport is so small and has so little people that waiting is all I'm doing. I still do stuff from time to time but it's alotta nothing.  

 

One of my favs of the page is frank woods from COD black ops. this was like one of the only call of duties I played. and spent a crap ton of time on it mainly offline. which I think is not nearly as fleshed out in more modern call of duties. I mean thinking of all of the possible game modes it's insane how much variety it had was incredible

 

    

 cc

Sponge's Big Day Out

 sponge goes postal 

For some reason I had a flash back to this one animator on youtube that made the spongebob saw movies and the bank robbery video. I think animation parodies had their golden age at this time.

some pretty grim subject material in these parodies. no wonder I loved them so much. alot of it had to do with guns and zombies. a love I still have to this day. Which is what mainly inspired me to redraw this. 

I wanted to make this more dynamic cause I reckon its pretty obvious that this is traced from the show. so it's really flat looking.

 Spongebob is hard to mess up. 

I know I could have done this in a show accurate style but... I don't really care. he looks cooler rendered in my style. it's mainly just my rendering style. i'm back to working with ballpoint pens and using a more aggressive sketchy looking line work.

I do kinda miss doing all that cause Fountain pen just needs one pass to do all the ink work. its far more consistent line from a fountain pen I just know how to work with the ballpoint the most. 

who coulda guessed. I prefer the medium I have been using for 5 years now. sooooo expect more with ball point.  c

The HORRID state of Job Applications.

 Jobs have been quite the hot topic recently. either it be unemployment, gen z trying to adapt to a more toxic work life balance, or Hiring managers.... 

I Hear alot about everything else but not how we get jobs in the first place....

If you get your jobs through nepotism that's great for you but us peasants. we have to settle for Job listing sites. now this is a doomscroll like nothing else. just endless pages of car salesmen positions and very specified work like registered traveling nurse or radiologist. and food service, don't worry they will always be hiring cause food service fucking sucks 

but some companies think they are so special that they need their own job listing site. and its every fucking company apparently. forking over an email and a password any verifying that email and then using their SHIT user interface to then try and find the specific job listing you were looking for.  

 more often than not a decent percent of my time is spent making accounts 

SO MUCH BULLSHIT. I DON"T NEED AN ACCOUNT. YOU HAVE MY FUCKING EMAIL. AND EVERYTHING IN MY RESUME. NOT LIKE I ALREADY TYPED IT OUT TWICE FOR YOU. and this is the ONLY option. i can't stress this enough. even going in person you get the classic "er just go online" even with talking to managers and general managers does nothing.  

 Do I even need a resume anymore?   

what the fuck do I even use it for anymore. it's not like I'm printing this out and HANDING it to a person. and er yeah nice resume PDF buddy do you wanna do us a favor and RETYPE EVERY THING. Copy paste? no never heard him. we could try and auto fill for you but random questions are gonna be drop down menus and errr can your phone number needs dashes and the +1 extension. and yeahhhh the auto fill kinda just put you job duties in the Job position box so could ya just reshuffle that for me? please. 

 I Hope you like nothing. and bots. and personality tests. 

 and what do ya get for doing useless tasks? an automated response and a link to a cute little personality test. these are pretty much the insecure girlfriend questions but next months rent depends on it. I reckon they sort these test by most exploitable so I always like and be the most bloodthirsty for the sake of walmart. 

these really are quite pathetic it's so easy to see right through what they are doing. just culling those dumb enough to be honest and adding more time to waste.

but thank god it's only your time. hiring managers don't care to notify you and for some reason in the most professional settings ghosting has become so normalized. even rejection emails are hard to come across these days. and even non-botted ones at that.

 It takes some sort of magic ritual to actually talk to a human 

after being not excluded by the job sorting algorithm for not having a bachelors and passing that personality test as the perfect wage slave you have the right to get an email from a person and possibly have a phone interview. and then if that goes well.... uhh in person interview I guess.

are you starting to now see how many hoops I have to jump through for getting JUST AN INTERVIEW?? boomers and gen x are so fucking spoiled for having the option to just walk up out of nowhere and just immediately just drop a resume off in person.

 And you are doing this whole process hundreds of times over  

This could be a months long process. even worse for those in fields like finance or comp sci. Unemployment terms longer than 27 weeks are creeping up more and more. this is not sustainable at all for the overall health of the economy.

it's just pathetic that companies have settled on what's easier for them. I mean for the millions that have been spent on AI you'd reckon they should put some of that spending into making more robust systems and opportunities for the THOUSANDS of people in major need of a job.

It's just a super dehumanizing process. this was just one big and bad rant. I have a better Job right now. but I CANNOT ignore what I had to do for that solid month of doing this over and over and over. 

America seriously needs to do better 

  

Bug Blog 09-01-25

A New Start

I ended Up going through with my plans.. Kinda I was a day late that's just i was being a pussy. the the day after certainly gave me a wake up call. I don't remember why but I did get into a bad argument with my manager and it ended with her saying she did not wanna deal with me and she'd start cutting my hours If I kept it up

I have zero respect for managers that use that power to control their employees. and the days after that did not help me at all. even with my year and a half of experience it was a massive struggle. plus with short staffing or lack of experience in other areas like cold prep and hot prep food was hard to keep in stock

I suffered the more I knew and stressed more and more cause of other sections making problems for me AND with a rather un-experienced and temperamental manager

 I did not care enough to continue so I didn't.

I Quit

The day after was gonna be waking up at 4am in order to open. and all my problems with rosa's were compounding so much in my head to the point where I just did not want to come in. So I didn't, I did let my manager know the moment i left my last shift. I really felt the weight drop from me. it felt incredible. I really did not know what I was gonna do next but I did have the savings to keep me up with bills for the next month.

I really did care about everyone there. I really did. with that weight dropping I did feel the grief of leaving everyone with a huge gap in the team. either it be emotionally or through companionship I knew everyone was gonna miss me for something. 

there's was only like 3 people I'm in contact with and more who just never followed up with me after leaving. It was more for the sake of me than anything. I really can't do anything for anyone anymore. I need to care for myself more. 

 I'm an older fucking loser now.

 Yipee My Birthday happened. I did not really do much the day of and normally I really don't. mostly cause I work on those days. I did do something with my family at cheddars

I have adult birthday parties now. so now it's just a reason to go to a restaurant all together. which that's fine by me. I used to hate birthday parties as a kid cause at all really is about you. everyone is all focused on you. it was too much for me as a kid

I got to go see all my nephews which just that was worth it. they are all so cute and we ended up getting a huge chocolate chip sundae thing for them. I got about 150 from my mom which was super super cool 

 Getting older is a main reason I wanted to leave food service cause if you have the choice to leave. fucking do it. I would say more than a quarter of food service workers are doing it cause they have no choice. either it be cause of experience or criminal records.

It seriously does not help you with it being a full time job that does not make a home and car payment affordable. it is an actual waste of time. You could actually make the same amount money or more being a receptionist or something.

Unemployment.

That was pretty fun. I knew I did have the means to pay for my bills but to spend it all would be very very bad. so I did spend alot of it looking for jobs which was not fun. but I spent most of it like It was summer break all over again. just being a degenerate. not in like the gooner way but like a ton more gaming and zero sleeping schedule. 

and gawd damn I felt it. I am not young enough to play around like that with my sleep so I was sickly and tired all the time which was super fun.... I was looking all over for job options. I got call backs from retirement communities pawn shops all of em. but nothing really.

I Finally Got That 9-5

I got a boring computer job... I work in checking in and checking out car rentals in my towns small Airport. I am super thankful for my new manager that understood my struggle as a food service working looking for work outside of food service.

and I reckon she saw how nice i was or something like that. but this new job is a real breeze like seriously, I spent like most of my shift playing games on my game boy. it felt so odd to use down time for personal things like drawing or being on my phone.

I even bought a laptop recently to use at work cause of it. I still have to give it some more time but this seems far more  sustainable than other jobs I have had so I am very very happy to start this job.

Right Right Lets get down to the brass tacks...

Right So with the base pay of 14 dollars an hour. and with weekly pay we are looking at 560 gross and 488 with Taxes. meaning we got about 2,000 a month. This is also excluding commission from work. which could add up to 300-500 You got 20% percent of that for savings 50% for needs and 30% for what else ya would ever want. It's never responsible nor sustainable to spend more than 50 percent of your income on bills and groceries. sure ya might have to live with yer mom a bit but that's the economy for ya right now. essentially economic problems we have not seen since the great depression. 

My Creative Projects

 I had alot of time for creative ventures this month. and actually started networking with a lot of local things like art boutiques and other local artists. and this month I actually made a more "appropriate" site to host my work. I'm eventually gonna get business cards made cause I really do wanna work with more local things.

There really is a pretty open ALT scene here in my smaller town and I really want to do work with them like that. especially organizations here in town. I mean all artists would wish to cash in on their talents at some point soo. I reckon it could be pretty soon

the Initial investment is looking like something in the 400-500 range So being employed is really helping me with that and it should not be long because of that.

Overall

I'm super exited to start the month. I had just ended some of the most exhausting months of my life and I'm starting a brand new high paying low stress job. and I have never been this motivated to create and just enjoy life. I might take a bit of a break for now for the sake of work.