I want your nectar, The flower of life.

 What makes you closest to god. draws me so close. 

*Click To View* 

Women's ability to create life makes them closest to god. every perfection of their biology or those who wish to identify as such a loving gender.

 

I know coming from such a sleazy artist that I see women as something so divine but... I do. my works act as murals of my love for women. a shrine nonetheless. do I find myself worthy of penetrating such a miracle of biology? only if She were to allow it.

 

Your body knows the best places to be soft. her soft ass spread, so beautiful. a soft pinch to expose her immaculate pussy. oh so shy for her to have seen it only as an extension of her flesh, I see it as what I have dedicated my art twords.

 

fuck I'm so horny is making me damn poetic. 

Bug Blog 06-06-26

 He's Rotting You Know... 

I had an incident happen with a close friend. to where She Lied to me to where I did not want to speak to her anymore.

 

Lying about how she was not in the mood for dating anybody but had been talking to others as she told me that. it was not anything I would do to a friend so i called it at that. I do not speak to her. at this point I would only accept an apology. and only that.

 

Then I realized. all that I worked for. everything I changed. was for nothing. So I really Don't care anymore. it was somewhat liberating truthfully. I'm on a diet right now. I cut my hair. and I'm no longer comfortable with the man I was.

 

with what was left of me. I realized this just is not me. I really need to become a better person myself. before I let some girl mistreat me again. maybe it's flaws everyone sees. I'm done with fear. done with being comfortable with my horrid traits. I need to change. 

 

back to being what I really want to be. I really deviated so far to perform for girls. not that they are wrong for not enjoying the fake me. it was wrong for me to perform in the first place.

 

I look like shit and I feel it. So why look any better than I feel. My ED kicked in HARD. I don't like lifting anymore. I'm done with this idea that I'm gonna be a "strong man" considering I'm never gonna be the man.

 

I'm so happy to be living on my own. It's made my hygiene SO much better. I shower almost everyday. IDC hairdressers YOU try having thin course hair that looks oily by the end of the day. and having my small fridge with cute food and skinny girl snacks. I feel incredible.

 

I am not normal and that's okay. I've spent to much time being helpless trying to conform to norms i will never match. Not that I'm content with being what I am it's that I'll never be the beef head emo faggot the foids want. I only intend to be better than them. both the narcissist foids and metrosexual male to male Transexuals. It really feels I've wasted my year being a helpless little bitch. some hopeless romantic only basing his worth on fucking women. I'm done.

 

It's really time for me to actually have a fucking backbone. I'm spending some time to read philosophy. Soren Kierkegaard specifically. His work has alot to do with the individual man, and how he may find his purpose. I'm just starting on his work so I have only a basic idea of his work. I know I'm not special for this sort of rebirth. so it's whatever. my fear of being the same has taken so much from me.

 

I'm also done with sharing my new composition book. only excerpts of interesting drawing but due to me entries being far too personal and that I will also use the book to study and write notes of Soren. So like... Yeah it's not just drawings anymore so we are packing that up 

 

TLDR; A bitch lied, I was a bitch about it. I'm done with being a bitch :3. c. 

Being a Man,And Coping with Your Increasing Obscurity

Preface: This is not intended to be misandrist. Though I may use some degrading comments against men. I will not be here to only list bad things about men. not to bow to an Foid. if you want to see a man hating man go watch Curtis Connor or other grainful breadtubers. and this will also only be relating to dating. there are many aspects of life that men are very important and needed in.

I'm empathetic enough to understand women's issues with men. I am not here to justify those actions. nor am I here to help you process those issues or use comments to air your hatred for men. Overall this video is not intended for women. 

 

Masculinity is something a lot of us are tired of. those who suffer from the change it brings to those who fail to live to those expectations. It's a constant need and feeling of confidence. but never has it felt so weak, and insecure. Men are constantly failing to meet the bar of decency. 

Maybe the feminist won. or maybe the girls will come crawling back after their POS high tier chad leaves them and you finally ascend to HTN 9.5. This is the mindset that is absolutely killing your growth as a person. thinking you are one quality away from acceptance will leave you forever chasing bodies and aesthetics you never needed. neglecting everything else.

 

Being zeroed in on these things makes you to have some sort of entitlement that is causing your predisposed hatred for women. spending months on something makes you really feel like you deserve something. but we as humans don't deserve each other due to boxes we check. I know there are people that are willing to abuse your efforts but you must only face it as to what it is.
Face value empathy can only get you so far thus comes the nice guy complex. the playbook of many incels. being just better than worse, more time into a weak effort only makes one worse off.  That's when true colors show. the anger and frustration in a grand showing of your true horrid character. somewhat of a projection considering I had done the same song and dance this month. no matter how highly i see myself I can only be defined by that low moment. 
 

It's these deeper rooted issues that I really need to work on. not that I "totally understand the implications of being feminine as a punchline is inherently rooted in misogyny". the simple puddle deep shlock I only spew to raise my liberal social credits.

 I had ignored that I harbor the emotional dependency of my mother. putting pressure on my partner to know small acts may cause me to close off or become irrational and angry cause I am sensitive. 
due to women's growing independence. we are not in the same higher ground position the generations before us had. Financially and status wise there's not much of anything we can offer that women don't have access to. what does that leave us to. still trying to tie meaning to these past status symbols of masculinity is all we have left.

 

alike the personalities of the manosphere They can only hold their masculine qualities like trophies to impress other men. ego runs as deep as their need for acceptance. as if these things make them any better than you. lets leave that since manophere is a dead horse subject.

it is still up to you to be a better man. women still like men, they would not objectify us if they did not.(gay men more than anything but that is a different vibeo)  it's what we changed or more accurately stagnated into. that makes it an issue. someone that does not really understand patience or even basic discipline.

 

 Basically be a better man. and if you think you already have. spend a month really thinking on it. you'll always improve. women aren't impressed by feminist shlock maybe having basic media literacy and emotional maturity will