Bulking Blog 07-20-26

So I'm finally taking the dive and going for the bulk, My biggest fear was the idea of gaining weight on purpose. That for all the time I spent dieting, I'm just sort of throwing it away. Which... yeah it's a dumb fear to have to reasonably I'm starting the bulk

My surplus is somewhere near 2400 so Naturally I require a surplus, and that's near 2,700 - 3,000 which, naturally sounds like a fuck ton. but that's given that I normally eat 1,300 to 1,600 a day. but I would imagine this is what has somewhat made my body only just sorta become more "toned" rather than put on mass, can't really build much off of 1,300 cals. even if I'm hitting protein.

It's my second day, and truthfully. I'm having a good time truthfully, My performance working out has been great. I've been really focused on my macros, as to avoid the "Dirty bulk". My diet is still majority whole foods and unprocessed foods.

 

So, I'm Kinda excited to learn if a bulk or the cut after is gonna be hard, I'm planning to do this for at least 5-6 months, that will of course be decided as I continue. of course a huge change sounds like an adventure to me so naturally I'm really hyped. Bulking is something i never planned to be the first thing I do. like I said it's something that can really get out of control if you don't understand nutrition. so now having a somewhat better understanding, I feel safer doing this.  

A Great Sickness Has Taken Me

My yearly head cold has taken me and I'm in the thick of it. It's rather odd the level fatigue is so high, enough to where I cannot write as fast as I wish I could.

To mention again, it is yearly. rather odd to me. that I have such a bad bout of sickness. I spent 2 weeks with an illness of this draining with a foggy dead brained wish that I would over come it. I remember pushing greatly through mental strain and joint weakness working the hardest job I've had.

This feeling is somewhat nostalgic, the brain fog is oddly comforting. there's alot to be stressed about but I simply do not have the energy to worry. I do have a good reason to just not overwhelm myself.

 

I'm going to the doctors tomorrow cause a fatigue and massive break will make me lose lean mass, I'm already down to high 150s. and I'm Insuring I get high protein and higher calories in order to prevent further loss, with no health insurance I'm afraid of what my options are looking to be. I know it will be expensive, but I just don't know how much.

currently I have 5k in savings, which I hope to NOT take a big divot out of. other times I visited it was not over 500$ so lets just hope.... it's something reasonable. 

Millipede

 I Wuv Body Horror 

Given I'm somebody that has a strange relationship with my body, Body horror calls to me in many ways. In the way I intend to change myself, like in a "The Substance" type way.

And also how much my body has been Viewed in a lewd way in the past, the urge to make myself disgusting out of spite. I think alot of girls can relate to that given women's affinity to body horror in which it means something deeper than just, Scary bugs n stuff...

I think it has alot to do with my asexual feelings right now, while of course there is a passion in my heart. At the time it just seems like something so far fetched that, I don't crave intimacy with another person.

It just feels like something, fantasy. like a movie or something out of a Junji Ito comic, I know it makes me sound like a loser.

 

This really does kinda look like a horror movie cover which I had kinda just noticed, I would hand alot to it would be the metal type typography. and as it goes, It's of course really hard to read. It's just supposed to be my artist alias, but given the ability to read, it takes some dissecting. 

I did all the spikes and kerning really right, so overall really awesome sauce.