To Hear Your "financial advice",Consider My Patience.

Preface: This is to act as a criticism of current consumer culture and the conditions of the working class. and the current state of capitalism,not it's principles. while somewhat flawed I do not intend to disregard the principles of capitalism.

 

In the same way I do not mean to platform whatever predisposed idea of Communism or socialism one may think of. I do have radical views. Get real, grow up. we are both adults, with adult issues if I wanted to argue like a teenager I would bring up non issues like "The misogynist  Implications behind barbie dolls" or whatever.

 

So often I hear further criticisms of the spending in this generation. not in which system we live in, though I am aware of those who only exist to consume. Finances have been something so personal that any those who falter could only be blamed on the individual. not basic safety nets in which have become increasingly unaffordable. forcing us to be patient with that.

 

or how quality of life has been increasingly reduced.  from the general unkeep of everything to how much you are expected to pay of it. a luxury apartments facade is thin, for the car's is as well. our food must be dressed for us. thinning, stretched as if ingredients are rationed. forcing us to be patient with that. 

 

How we work and find it has only reached the supposed peak of incompetence. Whoever you are and whatever you work as, I can almost guarantee due to technology you are more productive than workers before you, or that you work for the roles of multiple people. It's those hours we work that outweigh other developed nations. 

finding said work is an impossible task, stuck in a loop of degrees,certifications,schools, qualifications, interviews and Human Resources. forcing us to be patient with that.

 

Your "Investment" plans are merely suggestions to one that cannot afford themselves a living. "paid in full" stopped in the face of 80k dollar economy cars. "just give them a resume" does not exist if I'm only refereed to a data mining front.

 

We may seem like an immature crowd. but, consider my patience in the face of it all. I nod and grin at your propositions. Knowing everything in the past which spoiled you. Consider my patience.     

You Are My Drug: I Need To Work On My Addiction.

Things have gotten clearer within these last months,but It's still a feeling of being lost. a fear I need to face, That as I exist, No woman wishes to have me as anything more than a friend.

Not that this will be forever, it will only feel like forever. I know it will be a very patient and special girl to put up with me. I still worry if I am content with my lack of growth as to preserve my idea of a stable man.

I know I do not deserve it. No matter what I may do, it is limited to me as a person. and as I have Adhd and mild autism. there are things I know I will never fix. for all the books I read I will never truly face her beautiful eyes without a feeling of fear and guilt.

 

It's just what is wrong with me. shall I rejoice in my flaws, yes. Though romance is my language,I must be reminded of your presence. I think of every aspect of you, I've only known you from a distance. I've only known you from films and movies. all that is idolized versions of you. I think of what I'm supposed to be as well. not anything that I match for you, I was never ready to be what you really want. and every attempt to speak to you can only be simmered down to every time I stuttered and could not face you and speak to you.

 

I can only wish to be what you want. you are every ounce of what I want, An addiction I face every time I see a curve that shares your shadow. the feeling of my pillows I could only imagine being something as warm as you. I'm afraid one day I may have a hatred for you, And so I must stop. before the way I think of you changes into something I could never undo. 

 

I'm doing all I can. I've embarrassed myself in front of so many girls. rejections and a constant loop of stagnated talking stages. this will only lead me to hating something that has rejected all of my efforts. I just wish being obedient, aware, and empathetic was enough, or even being rewarded. I'm done, seriously. for now or until a girl forces me to date her. I'm done with asking girls out.        

Bewbies Bewbies!!!

 I Am Just A Boy... 

A boy with issues so yeah I'm nursing on those... Am sorry to be so honest but what else would make me love such mature built old willow of a woman. something purely natural and exists as something beautiful due to it's age.

 

I often intend to age my characters. to be fair these are qualities women have naturally. smile lines, so goddam cute I love smile lines so much. crows feet around the eyes and lines below the eyes. every wrinkle and vein I love. for it is inevitable beautiful and natural for a woman to age. those signs being a sign of confidence and being content with themselves. and I can't help but be attracted to such confidence.