The Little Lamb :3

This is for my new Death Metal EP

Yeah The Religion is seeping in me. but not really doe. I feel like this would be the cover for the hardest black metal cassette tape of all time. I really do love sheeps tho. they are so fufin cute. I gave it a gun :3 and yes you have to guess what the word up top says. i think it looks pretty obvious to me but i wanna know what yall think it says.

It's All You Know, It's All I Lack

Boob artist gets real with biblical imagery

A Picture I had seen of a sheep herding dog covered in blood being comforted by one of the sheep its protecting. but I think the dog represents me well. something that only lives to survive, it's how i've felt my whole life to the point where it seems to be the only thing I know. I don't know how to really care a comfort others. I just know how to make it past this day. compared to my friend who has genuinely showed me alot of love. a feeling that is unique to me. for all the people i live and fight for. it's the most I've felt loved from someone I care about. he knows how to actually care and make other people feel valued so thats why he represents the calm and comforting sheep.

Black Metal Babes are so swag!!!

She invited me over! where's the Black metal she's just naked!!!

The titty Spider tattoo is peak

this has to be one of my fav tattoo designs on one of my girls. The big ol black widow in the middle of her chest down to the webs sorta curving down around her breasts and the web nipple tattoos just draw it all together so well. i am pretty proud of it. and the black metal wojak is something im proud of too. it's really funny to me. I know all black metal band photos are all mysterious and dark but its still a funny parody of black metal merch. orher than that she's really hot

 

Miss Glasses.

She had glasses and er... whatever was below her tits

Me Being A Slut About Nerdy Women Again? No~ 

I would Never. but like right now? Yes!! She's so cute!!! Her rigid black hair complimented by her black tights and black heels she's so hot. she has a nice strong looking body such lovely curves.

 a nice tall strong tree of a woman.

 I really like the background too. its some sort of backroom she's modeling in. could she be ran into? is this a private room? just something about such a beauty in a trashy stairwell just makes it pretty interesting. it's hard to tell from her docile face if she'd fear a peep show or love to be seen like this.     

 

WIZARD!!!

 WITCHCRAFT!!

Make it extra immersive and play witchcraft by king gizzard for full effect. or any power metal will suffice. i used a body builder as ref and it is crazy how much body builder anatomy differs from average anatomy. def something i could study more but to understand it fully would be a good couple of months of work. other than that i think the composition is pretty peak. the line of action is pretty clear going from the hand down to the face flowing down into the open coat. i took notes from occult imagery for the tattoos. but it's hard to think what a wizard would have as a tattoo. it's really cool to me. 

 

She Breasted Boobily

This week Long sickeness is really getting to me

For this last week I've had a pretty consistent sickness upon me. it's left me so very very tired. just one of my tonsils are super inflamed so ive had alot of sinus issues. and alot of coughing. I've already been to the doctor and they did not really find anything so I've just been using shit tons of nyquil to sleep.

so I've felt rather defeated. the same as my drawing subject. she's such a beauty. I love how well she's framed in this portrait situation. not even looking at you. do you wish she was some bubbly playboy girl darting souless looks at you with a pasted on smile? I just have not had the energy to be what I really want to be so this is what it's been the last week. :(   

Switched to Linux!! :3

 Bye bye windows bloat!!!

So  Recently my windows computer had a huge fail that led to me having to soft restart. I got to keep mypersonal files. but it brought all my programs to factory settings. this means all my work in getting rid of all the windows bloatware that had since doubled with the most recent update. Like Legit ads baked into half of the user interface menus. and Microsoft's constant forced integration of their own programs like edge and xbox. 

And It constantly bogs down any machine it runs in. its pathetic to see how well my computer runs with linux compared to windows. Then again we get into the compatibility problems. I did a bit of research and just decided on Ubuntu since it had most programs I wanted. i still say most.. not until i fully understand how to run windows programs. I do have linux mint XFCE running on a junk laptop i own. and I really like the customize-ability of that distro more. again since linux is so open source i just don't know how to do that

I'm not really too worried about gaming I just know stepmania has a linux version and a decent amount of my steam library can run on linux so we are chill for now. just one thing i was really tired of was how much windows sucks now.   

I NEED GOTH DICK!!!

 I'm dying i need goth boys!!!

He reeks of cigs and won't stop talking about numetal

BUT I NEED IT SO BAD he got those extra sharp caninesss. for er reasons... hehe~ he has such a nice body. those defined pecks and hairy belly is so goodddkjnvfjn. down to that shaft gawd. just seeing it that hard yu know he likes what he is seeing. he's super emo so you gotta have multiple belts and really emo and gay tattoos like aphex twin and the marlboro chevron. i need a trashy goth boy do brick me down on some gangster shit.

Could he be a Twink? errr idk I'd still hit

He really is slim enough to bottom and i would top the fuf outta him. such cute fluffy black hair. I really am such a slut for boys with long/shoulder length hair. its so pull able and just feels so good to run my hands through when i be making out. okay! that's enough boy talk hehe~ other than that. he is so cute and his tattoos came out really well. he's got the aphex twin logo, deftones owl, marlboro chevron and a do not pet patch.    

I am No Longer Using Youtube

Just Let Me Explain...

Making Content For Youtube Has Felt Pretty Draining

Recently alot of my content has been getting blocked and I'm putting more and more effort into not getting my works content blocked either due to copyright or artistic nudity. all of that for content that could not fit the right tags and trends. It's hard to come up with ideas when it seems a new youtuber has their own +1k sketchbook tour video. 

I just don't see any innovation anymore. any innovation that is actually rewarded.

Youtube just admits what they want from creators now which is watch time. full stop. the ethics of the content does not really matter. the actual value of the content does not matter so. why do anything outside of the youtube approved money printer soooo. Yeah I'm good.

I really do want my art and videos to be an experience

Can I be honest and say i would never degrade my own art to the degree of actually using youtube shorts. or doing art trends or drawing this or that. That's great for content creators that can actually adapt to that and are willing to do that. but i just can't. making almost every part of making art into content or the only purpose of art being content just is not fulfilling at all. I really do want my art to be an experience outside of it being purely content and i want to focus all of it twords one page and that's where my blogger page is. i really do see my blogger page as a gallery and work of art myself.

Yes, I'm Still Going to Create Video Content  

Though I don't know what I'll be making i still plan on making videos. these will be exclusive to my page. I hope to make some vlogs or whatever but i just wont be using youtube for it. I have stopped memberships and will soon turn monitization off my channel. thank you to all who supported me on youtube but I'm just starting to understand this is not the platform for me. 

erm more religious stuff please....

What if i told u. religion is coming back into my life

I'm Not saying i had any horrid horrid trauma related to Christianity but

 i could certainly say it has really effected me growing up and how i treated myself due to that. to me I've seen nothing but how Jesus' image has forever been tainted for me. there is nothing sacred anymore.

saying that religious imagery is inseparable from Mexican culture.

 either from traditional ideals or even in cholo culture scripture,Saint maria and Jesus is important from all mediums. especially in tattoos. this is where I've seen most artistry and is the most important here in south texas for preserving mexican culture.

two things here are 

saint maria and betty boop. two things i see the most on Cholas.

 that and hello kitty. i really do find it intresting how much betty boop means to the older cholas. love how it turned out tho. she's supposed to be laying in snow which for a mexican woman where I live is pretty unrealistic since we don't get snow out here really. but i still think she is so fuckin hawt tho. I love her more squared off face and cold stern look. i really like it.     

 

meow!! :333

A Little something to break my block

It's Just something really simple really. but I'm in  transition point in jobs rn so that's a bit of a thing goin on right now and I'm changing my sleep times too so its a bit much for me. so this is pretty much a study. I know I put some actual mental effort into changing things but really. this was mainly to have something i drew thru the week. she's still really hawt tho. since it was a study I put more effort into anatomy. 

I'm really proud of the shoulders. the Clavicle is starting to make more sense to me. which had to be the thing that confused me the most. other than that she has swag tits. i rekon this is one of the most "attractive" girls I've drawn. reminds me of a dashboard calendar i got from a car parts store. i was nothin but slim babes in slimmer bikinis. if only they had huge heavy bitches.... if only

Stuff From The Thrift

 It's Alot To Take In I Know

Some Black Dress Shoes!!!

I really needed some black formal shoes since my only other pair of black shoes are my Doc's. which those are fine but to wear everywhere? no. I love these so much they make me taller and I sound like a hoe when walking in them since they sound like heels.

Tally Hall

Not really a die hard Tally Hall fine but I like alot of their songs. It's really cool to find band tees at the thrift so I kinda had to.

 The Q Shirt....

This really is one of my best finds. Q is such a unique group. and changed so much about our political sphere. it was such a uniquely American thing to happen that I would just love to see the reactions of people that know cause it would either be chonically online leftists or Q members. both i would love to hear from

Portal 2

I really love valve and alot of valve projects. the orange box has to be my biggest exposure to valve games and it was one of the best console releases ever really. It's weird to think i assiciate valve so much with playing on a console with a controller when most valve fans have memories of playing CS maps older than me. but that just shows how much valve has influenced multiple generations

Thick Black Pea Coat

Real sad its only gonna get hotter from here but i could not turn down such gothic outer wear swag. I really wanna get into my goth bag but i don't want to buy purpose made clothes like that. this Pea coat is super cold tho. it's some sort of gothic formality it adds to me which i like alot. It adds a very nice form a texture too. a texture i love and aint in much of my pieces. 

Corduroy Pants

 Another Fave from me. I know all black denim or black flat dress pants would not be intresting so thankfully i found these black Corduroy pants. i know its more cozy than gothic but i still really love how they look and pair with the pea coat. plus its nice to have i pair i know i won't use at work. so they can stay all clean.

Overall  I really liked how it turned out. I rekon i spent like 40. but for what i got i could have spent the whole 40 on just the shoes or the pea coat. so it was really worth it. i need to research more on layering cause i know the best thing for the pea coat would be some good layering and proper dressing

 

   

Vincent Fan Art

 I Need to Smoke With Him So bad

Vincent is an original character from dimlylitflame on youtube. I did not really have any ideasso i thought of him. well i mean i think of him alot but that is unrelated. Vincent is really cute and he smokes which is like, all i need. i know he'd be reeking of cigg smell but like that's the best part honestly. I'm gonna have to ask if he smokes menthols. but i mainly wanted to keep the tired eyes and the black hair. i know its more angular but i wanted it more realistic. his hair is really pretty and so dark

I also made the body a little less stylized. he do got a booty but just a little less. he's got femboy proportions which makes him look so stunning. it's almost like his only fem attributes are up to his anatomy. which i think is really cute   

God damn it I have a Girl Crush Again.....

 And It's Over very minimal pathetic things...

So last night was my last night. and I had to train the new girl on that night. I had seen her before already but spending time with her really fucked me up. Now i don't think i will ever see her again. it kinda really sucks

"Inked and Pierced My Greatest Fear

Speak These Things Into My Ears

Make it Mean and Make it Hurt

I Had It Coming For Being A Flirt"

I think I'm really gonna have to think deeper about my masochism before I end up in an actual abusive relationship but I don't know why I want that type of attention in the first place. I don't know what did it. The way she spoke down to me. Her Tattoos and Piercings and she was taller than me. Looking up into her dark lined eyes through her dark secretary like glasses. I just needed her to grab me by the face and wreck me

Bug Blog 03-01-25

Changes. in many ways

This last month has had alot of changes even within the last week. alot is changing right now. earlier this month i really had thought more on my identity. And I am working on transition at the moment. while I'm not working very very hard twords it i have my long term things I'm working on.

Right now its alot of watching my weight.

 and to be honest its alot of ED type of stuff. but to be honest i really like it. Being poor sustaining healthy whole foods, greens, and leafy greens is pretty hard. and growing up around and only knowing how to cook rather unhealthy food. watching what you eat makes you look like some insecure teen girl. but I am really. black coffee for appetite suppression, no red meats, snacks are fruits, nuts, and dark chocolate. i've been searching and finding more and more healthier foods. I'm still enjoying the things I like. it's gonna have to be a while to see some changes in my own eyes but my mom says im pretty skinny already. but that's being skinny as a male which of course has different connotations.

Making Video Content Has Changed Alot For Me

I have kinda quit video content at the moment. i did have my moment with it for a moment but right now authentic video content is just hard to get any fruits from at the moment. it's just hard to watch some of the most valueless content thrive. it's not what it used to be anymore. it's alot of work for what is a constantly fluctuating market. I have a whole blog about how much i hate the internet right now so that is really a whole different thing right now.

Work ( And It's Getting Better )

So working for Allsups for the last 3 months has really sucked. like hardcore working overnights has made me the most tired ive ever been in my life. it has really made my mental more unstable. and that joint is just so trashy. I do not know what made me think this was gonna be an easy job but really it was but i just get no respect and it's changed me alot. it made me actually start smoking from how valueless i feel. but actually this changed massively when I actually started the process of coming back to rosas. I know it feels like a step backwards but really i do miss all the people there. I know it hard work but I've never felt more like a team. and they actually hired me back at 13.50 an hour which is freaking hugeeee.

My Finances And Future Plans

as of right now i am giving about 300-400 twords my savings account which will increase when I start at rosas. and that will help me get my HVAC certification. and after that i could actually finally move out. this is gonna be about 6 months minimum i rekon to start or be finished with my certification. and from there i hope to work with Air Dynamics or Billy Black. though i wish i had some art projects i start here. to be honest. money is my real focus this year. though I hope to still draw stuff as normal. i don't know if i would continue with print making like i had said a long time ago.

so that's been the last month for me. though i hope to keep some of my creative output up. after stopping video creation and Instagram posting. I'm really gonna focus on myself.

Mommy Gothel~~~

 She has to be one of the most underrated Disney characters

outside of Rapunzel being such a goated movie I think mother Gothel is so fucking hot. she has nice subtle touches of maturity like her strong cheek bones and sunken in tired looking eyes and that dark frizzy black hair. They are so suave and seductive it's just so hard to not be charmed by her gaze. Oh no what a nightmare being locked in a tower and having her brush my hair all day. oh no pleasee~~~~ 

Tsk tsk... what a shame it would be to be in this situation.... I mean Flynn is pretty bad but like. Mommy Gothel.. Gawwd damnnnn I mean he is caring and everything but Gothel is so protective and manipulative... I just want that cause my brain is all fucked and cooked from trauma. so yeahhh. she might be my addiction for the next couple of months