Bug Blog 01-28-26

 Back Home? 

So around December my sister said she was moving and I had been living with her for about 2 years now. which is kinda crazy to think about. I thought on it but only had once choice to move back in with my mom.

 

back to a very important house to me. it was after moving out to miles Texas in 2021 that I found myself, the isolation and getting away from the inner city changed me for the better. to be back in that house again is really nice.

 

the area is just full of life. from farm animals to stray cats and deer. I can see it through my old art where I expressed nature and my sexuality. it was a time of massive change and then again with my weight loss this house represents a time of change.

 Speaking of change... 

With the whole dealing with moving and settling in thing I had kinda been slacking on dieting... I am now in a healthier BMI so I increased my calories. being in a massive deficit was just not fun. cravings and being tired all the time was just really tough especially with working out.

 

I am NOT going on the bulk no matter how fun it sounds I do not have the money to double my servings to gain "lean mass" like I said before I'm aiming to build a masculine figure and not like a body builder figure. and yes I see those and two different things pretty much...

 

 YESS YESS I SAW HER 

I finally got to go out with a friend twice this last month. it was just so lovely. she's the sweetest thing I wanna keep in my life no matter what.

I got to hear what she had been doing the years I had not seen her for and Overall it was just SO nice to chat with her. and we also went on a ""date"". it's what I wish it was at least. but just seeing her was so nice. I could talk dumb all day about her but I'm just so excited to think about what we will do in the future.

 GRAPHICS 

Swag fact I did 2 years of graphic design in high school. I love graphic design and getting into that workflow is so fun. and I actually decided to integrate my artwork into a design and became ADDICTED.

 

I'm not the best at drawing backgrounds but designing backgrounds and stuff makes this like almost poster quality I would say. I love it, it adds so much to the quality of my art. sorta like Little big planet type of scrap booking look.

It's been so fun and really refreshed my skills. y'know I've had them this whole time but to get back into that type of work flow is friggin peak!

 Rest in Piss my tik tok 

So after tik tok went under American ownership naturally censorship occurred. I reckon chinese owned tik tok had censorship. it's been pretty integral for both alt left and right.

 

But now there is prominent censorship of Content relating to the corrupt drump administration and 1mm1grat1ion issues. this and More privacy issues is enough for me to just pack it up. it seems as more of a tool of this administration rather than an actual platform of the people.

 

So naturally I deleted my acc and app.

 

 The fuckass ice storm 

There was an ice storm due for the entire weekend of the 22nd. I had known for the whole week but naturally I could not anticipate how bad the storm would actually be considering the last time we got snow was from the last infrastructure crippling storm back in 21.

 

 But I can't really say anything crazy happened. except I just got like 4 days off work and I could not leave the house. But THANK GOD any hours I was scheduled for will be paid by the company. the cabin fever kicked in pretty quick but I had I worked last night and got groceries so we are back to normal. and it feels good to see and feel the sunlight.

 

 Overall 

This month has been FUFIN INCREDIBLE. to be the honest. health kinda stagnated BUT other points of life have gotten better. I feel My diet and the benefits of my weight training and Calesthetics.

 

My new room at the house is way bigger than my old room and I'm just loving it all. I can only hope next month will be as good as the last. Love u all! thank you for reading!!! :333     o 

Through Rain or shine, clouds in the sky, The brightest stars, are in your eyes.

 Night time. something always special to me 

I used to be a MAJOR night owl. A connection I had to silence and watching adult swim. now I'm older and not living in a lively home anymore.

 

something so intimate and peaceful. especially with another person. not particularly in a sexual sense but also in the means of connection.

 

The pose is beautiful, a pretty rotund body and a cute face turning away from the window. using heavy shadows to show the subtle yet revealing kiss of the moonlight. it's beautiful really. I kinda tried Moe anime eyes just to kinda fuck around but I think it came out really pretty. I tried to make it anime style but.. you know fat girls and anime... kinda don't fit the aesthetic.

Studies 01/27/26

 Charles Bargue Studies 

It's not often that I do proper studies but I really need to do more. and this particular study is pretty important to artist. 

 

This is the bargue plates a set of images that help tons in simplification and form and rendering. simplification is massively important when it comes to making form out of complex shapes like human anatomy.

 

I really recommend these studies to newer people. at least sections of bargue plates. like for the study of the head I mostly just drew the face. Even as someone that does not draw realism studying real things and using fine art studying methods are still very important.

 

I know studies are kinda like the veggies on the plate but Just do your freaking studies during your art block at least...      

 I'm working on my NUDE beach body 

I love her so muchhhh!!! she's so chubby and pretty!!!. Her beautiful small and firm breasts highlight her fullness. 

down to her plump belly and wide hips, FUCK I love it so much.

 

I used the tropical look Ironically It's snowing in Texas. Snow in texas I like a one in 3 year event so it was rather special to me to see snow. I got the idea from femme beach tropical. coconut girl is the more applicable word. tying a connection to the tropics to fashion.

 

Outfits are so adorable to. like shorts and cropped tees over bikinis and sheer dresses and flowers. there's alot of crossover with hippie and naturalist culture with accessories that derive from nature or copy from nature. (shell necklaces, waist beads and flowers)

 

 Hibiscus and Cute Swimsuits. 

coconut girl is very vibrant with emphasis on pink yellow and blue. often colors derived from flowers or tropic locations. which is so cute.

 

and of course... I love to see those girls in the sunlight! pretty brown and blonde girls with flowers in their hair in cute small outfits...  DUH who does not love that. especially when they got such cute accessories :3  

 v

Can Monster Act as an Aphrodisiac?

 Momster 

I Like the whole "Adam and Eve" type of censoring I did there. It's pretty cute and endearing to me. kind of anticipation I would say since the hair could not perfectly stay above the nipples.

 

I gave her A TON of piercings. maybe even more than normal I won't lie. but goddamn she does certainly look like a badass.

I know monster has "monster girls" but not to this NSFW degree but I know the real monster girls look like this. this or hello kitty girls that only drink pipeline punch. this is something I COLORED? which is huge. I did my fav thing and gave her dyed tips? its that the word? idk I love girls with crazy dyed hair.

 

I got a little silly with it and made it into a kinda parody of a full page magazine ad. something about weird studies really had advertisers swearing their product did something and for this I thought monster claiming to be a sex promoting drink would be funny. but actually doing the research brought some things to light to me which was kinda crazy.

from what I read caffeine from coffee I would assume can lessen the risk of ED in men. which vascularity and blood flow is certainly aided with caffeine. and as a daily coffee drinker... I will not comment. BUT ALSO caffeine can also increase female arousal. which y'know we are all winning here so like. drink up yall do it for your sexual health!!     c 

 

The Office Goth

 My addiction for older office ladies continues.. 

Something about office siren is so hot to me. mature and somewhat dominant. I'm such a whore for that. especially if she's super scary with black eyes.

 

I love the pose it presents her perky tits and figure well.and DUHHH I gave her piercings cause they frame the nipple and areola well. I used the ring instead of the bar just to switch it up. also I do not know or understand the health implications of nipple piercings on REAL women. I just love them on my fake girls.

 

It was pretty hard to tie office siren to pastel goth but I tried really hard. especially finding goth office supplies. legit JUST those two are the best examples I could pull from google for goth office supplies. 

 

Barbra "Doll"

 *click to view*

 I Got The Idea From a Friend 

She had mentioned the centerfold template and I really liked it. this is more of a full spread rather than a centerfold but I still wanted the same idea. and at this time I had come across a pretty old pic from my ref folder and I had to draw her

 

I goddamn LOVE chubby girls. so soft and rotund in the right areas, I'd only want to treat these girls with such gentle treatment. it's these girls that are just the nicest brown sugar big miss sweetness I only want to love.

 

ENOUGH of that. I really liked designing the background and little texts. Something about porn mag design is how clear and forward the designs are. we know the clear focus of the image so it's often the design works FOR the model rather than the design working with the model.

 

It's kinda hard to have fun and try new stuff with a pretty limited style. While I do love highlighting my Art. I still have a lot of fun with trying to hard with my graphics. 

Girl Losers Do It Best.

 So pretty in bed 

blushy blushy such a nerdy girl. a little neet loser girl posing so pretty. such a submissive and attractive pose. embarrassed you could only reckon she'd dream to pose like this for somebody

 

I really love this so much. I would not hope to like corrupt her or anything. my taste in real life with others is very vanilla to be honest. so like some of my fav works are just cute girl next door types doing a cute pose and not extreme stuff.

 

she is so pretty. big frame glasses are so cute to me. a little acne and big eyebrows I love her so much. as someone that knows what being performative and dressing for men looks like. I just find girls that don't care to far more attractive. such a grope able body in a sweater and skirt gahhh I love it so much :333      

Bug Monthly?

 A Gentleman's Magazine 

I drew this vintage model and just thought she'd be perfect for those old adult mags of the 60s

 

magazines have to be one of my favorite forms of print media where news keeps up with events magazines take a monthly scoop out of culture. some cultures can owe their archived history to magazines.  

 

this was a really fun practice in working with text in gimp. If you did not know gimp is my preferred editing software. I took 2 years of graphic design with photoshop but of course I don't care to pay or crack photoshop. So I just use Gimp.

 

but working with text and other bullshish like kerning and spacing is kinda hard for me since text is not very forgiving at all. this was super fun to make though still.

 

The faint background shapes work alot to fill space and add color to contrast either the text above or catch the eye. I just really like this page.      c 

Droolin at the pool

 It's a floater 

I went back into 2016 for this. Pastel Tumblr goth has to be one of my fav aesthetics I'm not gonna lie. galaxy filters, pink and black,unicorns and cat pics are so fucking cool and work so well with each other.

 

The drawing is so awesome sauce. a tight fit body leading into a cute booty and a sorta irked face is perfect. and the all black pool float is just so goth.

 

The background is what really makes the design. I had just a pretty simple pool background and I put a galaxy filter over it pink purple and stars are just such a cool motif to design around. like the galaxy shoes and galaxy jansport had middle school girls in a choke hold i swear. I hope to do more work like this to make this 2026 into 2016 cc

 

My Sweet Girl...

 My Favorite Sweet Girl 

Such an immaculate feeling to be panting,over stimulated, foggy brained, and teary eyed. or to leave someone else feeling like that. I'd just love to look up at glossy eyes and quivering lips.

 

I love it, her running mascara is so cute the kiss marks and rough messy hair shows loving marks from another woman. of course I took notes from Ayesha Erotica. a lady that lives for pleasure on her own terms. Which I fufin love.

 

I used my fav gif site to rip all the pretty and pink gifs I could. It has all the old school type of gifs that just had incredible almost bad looking gif designs that are so endearing. 

 

Am I ur fav cam girl?

 I got a webcam and a dream  

Doing more graphic design. Idk what has made me go into this phase. but I really love it. I normally use my artwork but My confidence has been so high recently that I decided to make a little edit for myself.

 

I picked the porn site theme cause it's the type of admiration and attention I love but.. I could NEVER do. like I might have a fat rack but I thank god that he did not make me a woman cuz like... id be on OF by now. but hey... I'll always try something once.

 

I do not really care to have an opinion on sex work since like it always is changing but has always been here. there is pornography that's older than America. it's not anything new. there's alot of times where sex work is an act of desperation, and that is why I just can't judge those who choose that line of work.  

 

more more pretty creepy girls!

 Texan Sized Center Fold 

This is a bit of a break in the template cause this is one page a one page centerfold. I should have done something like this earlier to be honest. there's some pages where I had to crop alot of my work.

 

This whole page was from a legal pad and is letter sized so of course there was no work around. So I either had to make it a spread or center fold. and making it a spread would make me need to split it and try and align it when just keeping it as one whole piece would make more sense 

 

I love cowgirls so much and tomboys. Not much a fan of traditionally fem women. "I'm Just A Girl" has been the spawn point of many migraines and learned helplessness. cmon ladies do y'all really want that pay gap closed(joking).

 Russ... :3 

Hehe of course I love Russ cause he is the drummer.and I love big boys too so like. there's alot for me to like.

I really have not been keeping up with gorillaz I just think Jamie's art direction thru out the bands phases is immaculate especially in the plastic beach and self titled days. the music videos and promotional art from those albums are incredible.

 

Zerm... I don't really care for the recent albums much. from how much more music I discovered Gorillaz just seems a bit too... pop. Sorry but other artists have been far more impactful music wise but I cannot ignore Jamie's impact on my art work.

 hehe Chubby Demon... 

Another new OC... It's a big ol husky girl... she's just a chubby demon.I like really don't know why but I LOVEEE girls in pajama pants. something about the soft somewhat form fitting somewhat baggy fit just makes me rabid. I plan to make her just a miss cinnamon sweetness. kinda just like me I would say.

 

I really don't know why it's hard for me to stick with OC's like a long time ago I used to have characters I would draw all the time. maybe I should just make a ton and see who I like drawing the most. I certainly love her and hope to draw her more. especially in nsfw. 

 

I plan to make my demon girls all mature so she kinda has a chubby milf build and it must be tapping into my primal instincts but something about a mature well rounded women is like... crack to me.

 Her...  

Another demon girl OC but I would say she's slimmer and more mature. with that short pixie cut in a pushup bra.... zomg

 

I plan to make her a big big gentle dom. big hoops and sharp acrylics, I'm such a slut for that. but like... I'm just a slut for a lotta things but cougars got my heart in chains. and hopefully in restraints for her one day...

 

I'm off 5 hours of sleep so. please be patient with me.

 Manhunt 

I had taken a request from a friend to draw the main guy from manhunt 2. which is like swag.

 

they loved it, and It got me to make a remix of the manhunt soundtrack. I had made one like 2 years ago and decided I should have made another. and it's hard asf

 

I don't think i have uploaded it anywhere except clips on my instagram so like maybe it will be on an album release soon.. and other stuff is just scraps from around my work. alot of people have been going to the national parks here for some reason.

 CUN7Y 

very sad to announce. I barley discovered SOPHIE. I heard some of her music off tik tok and went into the discography and found one of the greatest dance music sound designers of our generation really. to even conceptualize some of these lead,bass and percussive synthesis is insane.

 

also production is gold tier. compression wise it's hard to think that the master does not have compression at all. the dynamics are insane. especially in pony boy where it uses complete silence to emphasize the percussion it's the same as the synthesis to where I could really talk all day about the production to how clear and dynamic it is. 

 

also Bayonetta cause she is hot as fuck

 This reminds me of the time me and my buddy Keith- 

Ellis is MY LFD2 pick.I love him so much and his stupid accent and dumb stories. and I pondered... what if i changed his gender. I mean my tomboy addiction was at a peak so like making my dream tomboy outta ellis was perfect for me.

 

I tried my best to keep ellis' features in her so I left her rather husky in the face and her nose. I knew I was doing something right when a tik tok comment was calling her ugly. I don't really like gender swaps that ENTIRELY change the character down to what they where. like I totally could have thrown a slim faced button nosed girl in a bullshifters shirt and a hat but... cmon ellis is too strong in his face to just be that if he were to be a girl.  c   
 

   

I think of you. I hope you think of me too.

 Somewhat sleep deprived and In my feelings once again... what a perfect time to type.

First off I want to say I am not entitled to peoples feelings or actions of others. this is only to complain and vent.

 

I've been talking to girls and it's just been interesting. I've been using the apps and have just got like... nothing from it at all. I think my pictures are okay and all and I engage first with women and really give it my all but. it's still been noting at all. and it happens often with dating apps that I just get massively burnt out from them.

 

there is another girl I'm talking to that has just really been the only thing I think about. It's not a burden in my mind only a burden to not have her here physically. I feel so warm close to her. everything blurs and its her and it's okay and safe. it's obsession truly,

 

we had recently met and talked and I only hoped it was forever. so sweet and cute, catching up was incredible. but to hear what she'd been through since we had parted absolutely gutted me. I could only hope safety in her life but to be with her I'd work night and day to keep her stable and safe.

 

Not that I could be the only person that could. I just want to know she's safe stable and happy. It's just all I think about my feelings are so intense for her. I know she cares about me far more than my ex did. just to know those feelings somewhat reciprocate just makes me love her more and more.

 

It just feels like sorta childish and vulnerable to spew my puppy love like this. I know it's far deeper than that but I can't help but feel like the fat greasy nerd I used to be. I always feel like a creep to pester her all day. like I'd seem like some sort of stalker if she were to read this. I'm just scared, scared of my feelings, scared of how much I think of you. 

 

Hoping to see someone again has changed me for the better so much. I only want to be the best for her and nothing less. not to be the annoying fat greaseball that always texts her. It just feels pathetic to have all these feelings.  

 

       

the composition files finally drop

 with special guest fresh off the boat 

To hear the "shocking news" that the people that needed to cover up/downplay the Epstien files. did down play and cover up the files.

I never needed the files. I just knew those associated with Epsiten were horrid people. Especially trump, if it was not his comments on women and younger women its certainly his actions twords womens rights and LGBTQ rights.

zerm... and a Belle Delphine portrait. I know she's a massive creep and all but in retrospect of other NSFW creators and even from NSFW models, she is just weird. I mean she was a very interesting character to follow outside of her modeling which was fun to see when she was popular. She is just a really genuine creator which is swag

 My top 10 films are all the adult short films I accidentally watched on 2012 Youtube. 

experimental adult shows have been on the rise recently and it's reminding me of the short films and creative projects on early youtube. One of the being chainsaw maid.

this fed massively into my zombie obsession when I was younger and rewatching it is an incredible display of sound design. there is no dialog in the film so it is all up to sound cues to set the mood.

it really is an incredible short film and i think it's projects like these that really made youtube unique. where any medium could live it thrived from other sites like newgrounds and other video hosting sites and the film and photography artists of the time having a place to host short films.  

 There's a petition in my titties 

Here is more of my fursona!! as the postal guy. I know I can kinda be clinically insane sometimes but like I'd prolly hoe it up in that leather jacket.I've been building my chest more and more and want big ol pecks so damn bad. so I look like a big hulky boy slut.

 

Crazy how my body goals changed so much once I actually started getting leaner and building muscle. when I wanted to be more fem loosing fat was entirely the goal but to think I could be built like David Hasselhoff or Zyzz it's a damn drug... hehe~ it's kinda for myself but I can't lie. it's for female approval too~   

 More Postal~ hehehe 

I get a pass cause R34 artists will slap tits and hips on anything so like... let me make the postal 1 dude buff as fuck. those thick arms~~~ this is not close to real cause the postal 1 dude is like pretty slim and just pretty average

 

I did not have any other ideas for filling the page so it was kinda just him. and some graffiti tags. I really don't do graffiti anymore to be honest it's more space filler than anything else.

 

 More... postal... 

I started re-watching Azumanga Diaoh and playing postal at work. So why not combine both. I did see the idea from Pintrest but tbh it should have been Chiyo Chan. 

 

But It's still sorta funny for it to be Osaka since she is a sort of social outcast and even a psycho in that one beach house episode. her brain functions in quite interesting ways and it's more often those who's actions are predictable than those who seem to plan their actions 

 

Not that I would reckon Osaka is capable of murder but she still scares me more than postal and cannibal corpse fans. those who consume violent media are often rather peaceful and nice people. except those weird kids that watch gore videos. they are just losers

 Zach hill 

Erm I really don't know when the death grips project will really drop but to hear it confirmed has been the news I've been high on for the last month

 

I'm very glad that Zach will be on the new album. and perhaps his percussive style may be more upfront considering andy not being part of the group anymore. but most of their releases are like something I could never guess. from exmilitary to powers that B. their variety is immaculate so my guess at what their next move could be as good as yours.

 

but if we could get something as raw as exmilitary again I might do like 3 backflips and need to fuck a girl raw to that album.

Bug Blog 12-31-25

 Body! 

GAWDDD DAMNNNDUNKJBN. This is me right now at 165. I got no clue as to what my body fat percentage is but... I'm ALOT leaner now. I really think weight training has been the key.

 

And diet also of course. I've been pretty strict and understanding that it is the MOST important aspect of my weight loss it just made it so much easier. I mean I guess alot of people have not noticed cuz like... I wear such baggy clothes. Like all of my clothes are like too big so I don't really wear anything form fitting. But maybe I will now actually. 

 

But honestly... this angle is VERY flattering. from the bottom looking up plus good lighting plus from the side to make my tits bigger... it's all pretty fake.

 not to be me me me but...  

I've had such a huge confidence boost from this. Like I'm talking to girls again type of confidence. but alot of it is for myself to be real. It's been more often in my life that I hide away in big shirts and baggy clothes. Now I want to wear more form fitting things.

 

I mean of course genetically I could build the fuck out of a masculine figure and that's the goal. Not a really bulky figure or for competitive weight training but to become leaner. and aid in weight loss.

 WE ARE OFFICIALLY HALFWAY DONE 

A little more than halfway done with the composition sketchbook. This is like huge to me. this kinda is my main focus and I've had incredible progress on this project within just this month.

 

and if you can tell from the new blog background. I've been doing a ton more graphic design work. And I really love it. I first started with the fake ads for my blog then made more for my background and one of my recent drawings.

 

That being the tomboy version of Ellis from L4D2. Ellis was like one of my very first boy crushes. I can't help but love a country boy. so damn handsome too. and I love country girls too I love tomboys so damn much. so I just thought about making him into a tomboy cause id wanna fuck him or her I guess or Both maybe. and at the same time? fuck yeah. 

 A little more of the same 

work has been the same old same old. I'm so used to such an eventful workplace that making music and drawing for like... more than half of my shift has just made work. kinda boring,

 

 I'm trying to talk to girls again... the apps have not really been that fun but I still try and talk to who I can. I really do have my sights set on one particular girl. It hurts like alot but attention from her and my affection for her is making it all worth it. I know there's other girls but like... It's just her I think about. to see those pretty eyes in frames and long black hair flow. I try my best to not be obsessive but I just can't help it.

 

My biggest fear has been looking like a creep to women but
like... I just want to be romantic so fucking bad I wanna spoil a girl so bad and treat her like my everything cook and clean and comfort her. It's been like sort of taxing almost.    

 To wrap it up :3 

I'm finally building a better body after like months of attempts. getting leaner and muscular giving me the confidence to talk to girls :3. and my confidence overall.

 

my current project has been productive. and cool. overall. good month of improvement :3