Somewhat sleep deprived and In my feelings once again... what a perfect time to type.
First off I want to say I am not entitled to peoples feelings or actions of others. this is only to complain and vent.
I've been talking to girls and it's just been interesting. I've been using the apps and have just got like... nothing from it at all. I think my pictures are okay and all and I engage first with women and really give it my all but. it's still been noting at all. and it happens often with dating apps that I just get massively burnt out from them.
there is another girl I'm talking to that has just really been the only thing I think about. It's not a burden in my mind only a burden to not have her here physically. I feel so warm close to her. everything blurs and its her and it's okay and safe. it's obsession truly,
we had recently met and talked and I only hoped it was forever. so sweet and cute, catching up was incredible. but to hear what she'd been through since we had parted absolutely gutted me. I could only hope safety in her life but to be with her I'd work night and day to keep her stable and safe.
Not that I could be the only person that could. I just want to know she's safe stable and happy. It's just all I think about my feelings are so intense for her. I know she cares about me far more than my ex did. just to know those feelings somewhat reciprocate just makes me love her more and more.
It just feels like sorta childish and vulnerable to spew my puppy love like this. I know it's far deeper than that but I can't help but feel like the fat greasy nerd I used to be. I always feel like a creep to pester her all day. like I'd seem like some sort of stalker if she were to read this. I'm just scared, scared of my feelings, scared of how much I think of you.
