HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT BY LIKE 4 MONTHS....
Okay so my first ever blog on this page was back in September. and It's really crazy to think I've been active on this page for a whole year!
This page has seen alot from me. and I reckon cause of that you've seen too much from me. some of the best times and worse most horrid times. about 3 Jobs 2 genders 1 horrid relationship and SEVERAL projects and hundreds of individual drawings. I think I'll just talk about some of my fav drawings and projects from the past year.
God Bless These Breasts.
thinking again I prolly would not draw something of this nature again but It still did mean something to me at the time. something more than just sexualizing a woman of faith. it was when I had been becoming more critical of my faith and more embracing my sexuality. or trying to understand why my lewdness must be tied to my guilt. such passion I have sexually must be paired with guilt and shame.
The Death Of Marat
This was simply a study but did still I knew how I was feeling at the time. I had still been working the graveyard shift at a gas station and at the time I had finally listened to the Death consciousnesses album Have A Nice Life. which had been genuinely dreadful album listen. Isolation and dread and anger in a gritty textural ambient mixture of all my feelings in one album. and alot of it is enhanced through the cover art. which to me alluded suicide but still covers the overall topic of death. just to say not seeing the sun for about 6 months did horrid things to me.
THE ORIGINAL COMPOSITION SKETCHBOOK
This *was* one of my most popular series on youtube was the composition sketchbook I think It did have alot of merit and it's no wonder as to why It became so popular. but like a ton of it was just... straight up porn so like naturally it was hard to make a youtube based series about this book. so eventually having to blur and censor stuff was just slowing the project down a ton. I don't really think I could use ONLY a composition as a sketchbook to be honest. It was just kind of a dumb idea that caught on. which really is the greatest shame that my least fleshed out idea had to be my most popular one.
Lily Clove
Around this time is when I finally changed back to working at rosa's cafe. which had been my first job. things were so much brighter to me after that. and at the time I created the alias of Lily clove. which i soon intended to be my transitioned name. the job at the gas station really isolated me so much that changing back to such a bright and social atmosphere I really needed. lily did form alot of change in my life. it's why I started to try and diet more and feminize myself. and even think about and research HRT treatments. but then I just felt more comfortable as using her as more a pseudonym or a pen name.
I Wanna Shred With U~
I'm not gonna lie to you chief. My drawing subjects used to be wayyy more sexual. and my Pinterest getting banned really changed my drawing subjects. while of course I still draw Pin up style drawings restarting my pintrest really stopped the stagnation i was kinda going through at the time and really changed my art direction for the best I would say. I took more inspo from graphic design and cartoons more so than from images and photos.
going back to my roots honestly looking back at artists like Robert crumb and graphics from companies like DC and world industries where I really questioned my stylistic choices rather than my subjects. where of course my subjects are important to me. without style it would not really be anything at all. so I find it very Important to me and I do see this era as pretty important to me.
Composition Notebook Again?
Around this time I had a rather sudden career change to my current job working with car rentals. alot of it is just attending a desk which gets super super boring so I use alot of that time to draw. I needed a sketchbook that was not full of nudes so I just decided to buy a new sketch book. and what a way reuse an idea was to use a composition notebook again!! this is my current ongoing project.
It's fun for the same reason the first sketchbook was so fun. it really just stops the sort of fear of an empty canvas and just enables me to just work and throw anything onto the paper. and also acts as a catchall for my other doodles on scrap paper. or even found objects too. sort of like a junk journal I'd say.
Blooming
This is a recent piece I am really proud of. I combined more graphics and contrast into this. where I did draw the pose I also included the imagery of a blooming flower and filigree. where the blooming flower does represent sexual freedom and love. It could be alot of things that cause it but having kinks and having your partner participate with you in those kinks is such a bonding and loving experience. where shibari really embodies trust in your partner it is something I love also
Of course my subjects are sexual alot of the time it's still more passion than lust I want to represent in my drawing. cause truly anything I draw a girl doing... I'd prolly do myself. and I know sometimes It can be degrading I'm positive it's not something most NSFW artists can say about their subjects.
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