Scratchy Scratchy :333
I love long nails. Like really really like long nails. especially sharp sharp nails as well. like talons, and I want to be in those talons so fufin badddd.
Sharp and deep scratches :3. mr masochism clocking in :3 also uhhh I started rewatching Clarence and drew sumo's Dad cause. He's kinda hot to me. I know he's like mad unstable and weird asf and violent... but I could change him.
And the other is just this clown girl. I thought her makeup is cute. If I were to do makeup that's the style I would do. is like doll face and clown stuff :3
Big girl~~~
ANOTHER drawing of a big girl cuz... hehehehe~~~ actually kinda not. this was a piece to represent my muse. but I had a dramatic moment and It's different to me now.
Some sort of a dreamy representation of poetic form of praise. crazy how much this page is in retrospect. It looks to be my most positive thoughts to my lowest point in one page. And If you've seen the sad bitch blogs you'd know what I'm kinda dealing with right now.
The Clarence boyz
I gotta say Clarence is top 10 cartoons ever of all time. in my list at least. this is coming from someone who watched uncle grandpa when I was a kid so take that with a grain of salt.
The wonder and fun of Clarence story lines are Immaculate. Like sitting to wait at the doctors office or going to water park. the characters are perfectly imperfect since they are kids
being somewhat naturally selfish. and being dumb as well. especially Clarence which sometimes he can get kinda irritating you learn to have patience with him as a character cause of his qualities as a person.
The Night after.
Around this time I had a bit of an incident with a friend. It was my fault. I don't blame them for anything but after it I had great shame in my lewdness.
Another person I let treat me like that without anything more than just calling me pretty. I was and still very ashamed.
and then... a lewd drawing. yeah quite the oxymoron. but It was such a cute Idea to me. to be surrounded by a woman's strong legs and being caressed by her feet. that would be awesome sauce. but still. I don't really think of sex at all much anymore. Of course I think of romance and physical affection. but... I just don't feel very good about sex right now.
Oh how foolish
I think the top drawing most represents the peak of my emotion. like some embrace had finally taken me. the stupid bunny ears and all. everything went away at that point.
and the sad doggy. this was the day I wrote all 3 of my dense blog posts. I had no other drawing ideas so it seemed blogging was the only thing I could do. That day really sucked.
I'm just really sad that The end of this sketchbook kinda got me at the worst time cause it kinda only goes down from here.
Another one...
Another chubby girl. She's so pretty. in a nice form fitting dress. I can see all the curves and nice wide set hips. and the most special curve. her cute smile of course :333
more dumb boy slut thoughts. I loveeee making marks on your partner and the other way around of course. like scratches and kissy marks and hickeys and bite marks. I love it all so much.
and I have a certain attraction twords lipstick marks. and I thought it would be so cute for a girl to put lipstick onto her boyfriend to kinda like show his marks on her body. almost like painting her. Which I why I made the speech thingy like that. I really like it and think it's cute.
Yeahhhhh....
This first post is about the several almost kinda not even close girlfriends I've had this year. I do it to myself where I just dive in doing stupid stuff letting my mind wander and draw.
I'm just to quick to put myself in that mindset. It's not very fun but my heart is so dumb it does it all the time.
The other is a rather impactful tweet about pets. about being gentile to those who depend on you like pets and children. It's how I think about my son marshmello to where He really does trust me as a huge human to be gentile to him and who am I to violate that trust. he is quite the brave little kitty for doing that.
Dumb or trustful I will never know but I would not treat him any worse than the best.
Wax and ashes.
Some more masochism stuff. I never really think on it but I still think it's a submission and attention thing. as a major major people pleaser I almost adopt a Servant mindset.
Which Is why I often become very pathetic to those I want to date. I just wish to report to them. as a pet, it's a very disturbed view of love I know.
But If
you have read everything up until now. you know I'm quite the disturbed
person. but there could not be a better way to finish this than to be
incredibly sad and horny. Massive thank you to those who have kept up
with me. and I'll leave you with the last drawing and a note written in my horrid
handwriting.
