The Boy Rot Has Continued.
I had another rejection and a particularly brutal rejection that just made me recluse further than I ever have before, thankfully the more merciful one had come first before the other.
Just the simple one I'm used to at this point, that she's just processing things. But the other felt of a humiliation ritual, that I drove out to where we promised to meet up only to learn she had blocked me. this is the one I still think of the most. that my value is so low I can simply be tossed aside like that, perhaps worse than rejection.
So now I am back in my shell, deep in my shell. I don't want to date anyone or anything. especially something that values me so lowly, It makes me feel so weak to even think about it.
Personal Aesthetics
This is purely narcissism, I don't intend to attract nor impress foids. that yeah it may attract more girls, It's literally only for my body, why the fuck should I not revile in that. I'm doing it for my fav most sweetest boy, ME! I WANT TO BE A BIG HIMBO PRETTY BOY.
Thankfully it is working, I'm at my lowest hovering around 160 and now after reducing my sodium intake it's reduced my water weight and retention. I'm thinking of just going for the bulk considering I do have the method in which I can actually lose weight. but perhaps I should only wait until winter.
Right now the emphasis is on sodium reduction and sweating in order to slim down, and of course high protein and low calories for fat reasons.
