THE MENTALLY ILL DOUBLE FEATURE
So like pretty much right after I wrote my last blog My "boyfriend" broke up with me. I say that cause he considered it a friends with benefits thing but naturally.. It effected me personally.
It sent me into pretty bad spiral that whole month. I did not make a blog like in this style but I did kinda make several trauma dump posts. I was so sensitive that month I had grown an attachment to laika the space dog and would cry almost anytime I'd think of her or see anything related to her.
Like i was just so weak and unstable there were really times where I did not know if it was gonna get better. which obviously things will always change but that I idea just could not manifest in my brain. I even changed my view of my femininity and masculinity.
Around this time I also started to think more about dieting. and finally committed and started a calorie deficit. I had my other projects going on too. My depressive episodes would turn on and off but at that point I got more and more stable.
and er kinda embarrassing but I joined tik tok. Instagram fucking sucks with discoverability so tik tok was just a better pick for meeting other artists. and it's been really fun so far.
Work again has been just pretty boring. but that's a good thing. It actually got me to do more physical things and recently I have even been weight training too. I mean it's cause building muscle can aid in fat loss and joint support. I had thought cardio was the the key but still I really need to build my arms more cause I'm in like twink status
I taught myself death metal style vocals :33 I actually did a cannibal corpse cover and all. I'm using the inhale distortion technique. I can get like super deep and guttural. but can't really get like fry shouting high. I don't really plan to be a vocalist but it's still really fun to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment